the double-edged sword of scent memory

Do you ever find yourself re-smelling old scents just to trigger those feelings again? I do. Humans will do anything to get their heart rate up for a little thrill.

I used to be friends with a girl who was obsessive about her past. She was addicted to reliving experiences in her mind, trying to find new perspectives, retracing her steps, and attempting to make sense of the pain she had experienced. So much so that her life seemed to pass her by at the speed of light. I watched it eat her alive.

We all have come across "nostalgia-core" and the search for the ability to relive memories, both good and bad, through scents, music, food, films, etc. I have been caught spiraling down nostalgia pages on social media, wondering where the time went and why I took it all for granted.

Fragrance brands often center their marketing around nostalgia and happy memories, using them to attract consumers by pushing either relatability or fantasy. What a brilliant idea to capitalize on a species that loves to yearn. It’s in our nature to want to go backward, but could this fixation rob us of hope? Are perfume-obsessed people a little more depressed than others, or have they simply discovered a fast, reliable way to access forgotten feelings?

While I can't confidently argue about the subjective experience of smelling, I can tell you what it does for me. Without our awareness, our subconscious seeks familiarity in everything we touch in an effort to make sense of our personal path. We also crave connection with like-minded people who share similar experiences. Scent is a form of communication. When our lives shift, for better or worse, we may leave something or someone behind physically, but we often revisit that person or place in memory to question or regret various decisions. Perfume is perfect for that, and we all do it. Since scent is so deeply ingrained in our memories and emotions, it provides a direct path to the heart. I find comfort that old feelings can be within reach with just a spritz of a bottle.

There is something uniquely unsettling about a scent that triggers a memory you didn’t realize was buried so deep. Perhaps it’s the smell of an old lover’s cologne that suddenly takes you back to a heartbreak, or the fragrance of a place you once called home, now tied to feelings of loss or regret. Scents do not only help us rediscover our most cherished moments; they can also unearth emotions we’ve yet to fully process. Perfume has the power to amplify both the beauty and the pain of the past, and for some, that can feel overwhelming. Like looking in your mom’s old makeup bag and seeing the same little eyeshadow pan or lipstick she has kept all these years, and still uses to this day. That shit makes me cry.

This complex relationship between scent and memory asks us to consider: How much of our connection to scent is about chasing something comforting, and how much is about confronting the unresolved? The very perfume we turn to for consolation may also be a reminder of something we would rather completely forget.